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It’s okay to change your mind. When I was a freshman at Hampton I felt like I didn’t fit in. I had a rocky first semester and by semester two I had told my family that I wanted to transfer schools. My brother-in-law came to Hampton from Dallas, packed up my dorm room, shipped all of my things home and my family helped me finish the college transfer process. It was settled in my 19 year old mind that I was leaving. And then as the summer began to progress I started reminiscing about the things I would miss about Hampton. The more I sat with it, the more I feared I had made the wrong choice. Around July I mustered up the courage to tell my mother that I wanted to go back to Hampton. God bless my mother, she is a saint. She didn’t make me feel badly about my choice. She asked me was I sure. When I said that I was, she began calling Hampton University administration repeatedly until she reached them. By August my mother had somehow worked the miracle of securing campus housing for me in the honors dorm and gotten me cleared for registration. My brother-in-law packed me back up, my big sister gave me some counsel and guidance and back to Hampton I went. My family never made me feel badly about changing my mind. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5eb4ffc3a1b2621c1fd7e45b/1613410001887-ZHKXE4GZ5SM78TPVXAZV/wilkes+vineyard.jpg Blog - Musings, Moments & Metamorphosis: 35 Tips on My 35th - 13. Fall in love with someone: it’s as good as you think it is. I love my husband. Like I REALLY love my husband. I always have. I always will. He and I started dating in college and got married just a couple weeks before my 25th birthday. Life with him has been a dream. Really. I’m not exaggerating. Falling in love with Andrew is one of the greatest decisions of my life. I say decision because at a particular point I had to give myself over to the organic rhythms of our relationship. At first I was trying to calculate everything. I didn’t want my heart broken so I tried to measure how much I allowed myself to be into him. I didn’t want to be a young couple cliche so I was afraid of getting married too early. I had so many rules in my head about what I should or shouldn’t be doing. But when I decided to give myself over to the organic nature of falling in love with him, everything else worked itself out. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5eb4ffc3a1b2621c1fd7e45b/1613411736401-7E398DICRF573OH5VMK1/gcw+standing.jpg Blog - Musings, Moments & Metamorphosis: 35 Tips on My 35th - 25. Feed hope. Starve doubt. We all know that our doubts can take over if we let them. But what would happen if instead of feeding our doubts we fed our hope? What if we started imaging what would happen if things went well instead of obsessing over what would go wrong? Feed your hope. 26. Shoot your shot. You’ve got to try! It may seem impossible. It may seem far off, but if you don’t try how will you know? We miss 100% of the shots we don’t take. Believe in yourself enough to try. You never know, the outcome might surprise you! https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5eb4ffc3a1b2621c1fd7e45b/1613411825313-4FI0OV71UM4KK0JIIB52/DLE+stage.jpg Blog - Musings, Moments & Metamorphosis: 35 Tips on My 35th https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5eb4ffc3a1b2621c1fd7e45b/1613409232348-RO331S5I0WSP0CU9Q6RU/gcw+bday.jpg Blog - Musings, Moments & Metamorphosis: 35 Tips on My 35th https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5eb4ffc3a1b2621c1fd7e45b/1613410260506-AKZKJ7V9XD8N9RCIDYOZ/crew+love.jpg Blog - Musings, Moments & Metamorphosis: 35 Tips on My 35th https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5eb4ffc3a1b2621c1fd7e45b/1613409594366-1WDAVQYJRUVH1T9OM1KH/gcw+blm.jpg Blog - Musings, Moments & Metamorphosis: 35 Tips on My 35th - 9. You can recover. In 35 years of living I’ve seen people recover from horrendous scenarios. I’ve seen people bounceback from some of life’s cruelest blows. I’m here to tell you, whatever life throws at you — you can recover. You are more than the worst thing that has happened to you. For me, getting fired from a job I loved was my low point. Some would say that that’s no big deal but for me, I had attached so much of my identity to what I did for a living. Without that I spiraled into a serious identity crisis. I was embarrassed. Unsure of how to begin again. My pride was hurt. For awhile I was paralyzed by my shock and disappointment. But I can tell you this, I recovered. recovered and you can too. I learned so much about myself in that journey towards recovery. I’m a more self-aware woman now because of the process that that season of my life catapulted me into. Your situation might be a lot more dire than losing a job, but let me tell you — you can recover. 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My Mother’s Journey I am a third generation preacher, who is also married to a preacher. (I know, I know, we are a preaching family! lol) My mother, Rev. Dr. Gwendolyn Long Cudjoe is a baby boomer who spent twenty years as an ordained elder in the African Methodist Episcopal Church where she served as the first woman Dean of the Chapel at Paul Quinn College in Dallas, TX, a senior pastor in Conroe, TX, and a staff pastor in Cambridge, MA. She transferred her ordination to the United Methodist Church in the early 2000s and served as an Associate Pastor for many years at a historically black United Methodist Church in Dallas, TX. Prior to her retirement she continued to teach religion at another HBCU, Jarvis Christian College in East Texas. My mom is still preaching the word but now as a happily retired clergy person in Dallas, TX. My Sister’s Journey My sister, Rev. Frances Cudjoe Waters, JD is a Generation X, United Methodist Pastor. She’s also a trained lawyer and activist. She met my brother in law James while they were both at Harvard Law School. James is a corporate lawyer who is now in-house counsel for a major bank, but we are pretty sure he’s got a preaching call too! But back to Frances. She is the Founding CEO of Glory Magazine Inc. and currently serves as the President & Ceo of The Dallas Renaissance - a civic and social organization in Dallas, TX. She recently finished a term as the chair of a city-wide committee where she was appointed by the mayor of Dallas to serve. My Journey That brings us to me! I’m a millennial preaching woman who received my call to preach in 2013. I began my ministry as the Co-Young Adult Pastor to The Greater Allen Cathedral of New York Twenties & Thirties Ministry under the leadership of The Reverends Drs. Floyd & Elaine Flake. I served in that capacity from 2013-2018 alongside my husband, Reverend Andrew Wilkes. Before my work in congregational ministry I was a gospel music publicist and event planner. I absolutely loved that work but once the ministry got a hold of me it took over! So much so that in October 2018, Andrew & I founded and launched a new church called The Double Love Experience Church in Brooklyn, New York. Hubby’s Journey I can’t leave my hubby’s story out. Fun fact. He is the only person in his immediate family who did not practice medicine. Both of his parents and his older brother are all opthamologists! But Andrew knew from a young age that he was called to preach. He received his call to preach at 15, and by age 26 was ordained with his M.Div. My hubby also has a strong passion for public policy. He’s the former Executive Director of Martin Luther King Jr.’s Organization: The Drum Major Institute and he’s currently finishing a PhD in political science! If you can’t already tell: I’m a very proud wife! https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5eb4ffc3a1b2621c1fd7e45b/1613212737627-OIU2KVLKOK0GTVVETS5C/Gabby+proctor+2018.JPG Pastor Gabby - Black Lives Matter “The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor.He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to set the oppressed free.” Luke 4:18 These are the words of Jesus at the beginning of his ministry. They are somewhat of a mission and vision statement for the work Christ came to do on the earth. Likewise, I center the case for justice for all black lives at the heart of my ministry. Much of my ministry has included not only the work of the pulpit, but work in the community such as: The Black Church Pac: Eastern Regional Conveener The Black Church Collective: Founding Member The Millennial Womanist Project: Founding Member & Former Conversation Series Cohost Board Member at Yale Divinity School Board Member for The Circle of Sacred Fire Preaching Circle Clergy Appointee to New York City Mayor’s COVID-19 Clergy Task Force. Contributor: The Vanderbilt Black Religious Scholars Group Inaugural Member: RISE Together Women of Color in Ministry Network. Inaugural Fellow: Spelman College Thriving In Ministry Cohort. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5eb4ffc3a1b2621c1fd7e45b/43cbd747-f53d-4fbf-8f70-6dfea0155b71/gabby+at+alfred+street.jpg Pastor Gabby https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5eb4ffc3a1b2621c1fd7e45b/bd48b867-8750-46f9-b220-3de66087dabe/Resized_Christine__Terrance_-373.jpeg Pastor Gabby https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5eb4ffc3a1b2621c1fd7e45b/1613214574144-TCQM5FHGU5THXM9AEQEK/wilkes%252Bat%252Btabernacle.jpg Pastor Gabby https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5eb4ffc3a1b2621c1fd7e45b/f5f58c31-0e32-4e3b-8382-3e6b8fe605fd/Romaine+.jpg Pastor Gabby https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5eb4ffc3a1b2621c1fd7e45b/1613214513305-FATUWE771JR9CA7SA5RH/trinity%2B1.jpg Pastor Gabby https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5eb4ffc3a1b2621c1fd7e45b/a4aad22f-0662-4c5e-99e1-afc852bcbf62/Wedding+shot+preceded+Aurora+.jpg Pastor Gabby 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